Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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