Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize