omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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