He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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