I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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