Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
