I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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