whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
