I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
