we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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