5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
