i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
