He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
