Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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