I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
