i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
