Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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