the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My dick has a subreddit
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
