you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
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I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
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Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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