i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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