having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize