Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
