from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
