Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
dude. I can hear the air.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
