i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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