Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize