If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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