i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I need to sanitize my soul.
My dick has a subreddit
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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