take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
