im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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