just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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