Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize