He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
