how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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