So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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