i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
