clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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