Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
