Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
