So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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