please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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