Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
