I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
