When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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