Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
did i walk over a car last night?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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