Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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