Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
