so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Randomize
