I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sober January is a disaster.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
