yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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