Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
