why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
