i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
