Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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