just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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