just come out here and I will go home with you...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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