he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
