no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
