The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
